Get some coffee, tea or something because this will be a bit of a long one! I wanted to sit down and give you an update on my life since I’ve been MIA for the last few months. As I mentioned last week, my health has been a MAJOR hindrance in my everyday life, and I’m now ready to share what’s been going on…
I’M HAVING A BABY!!
YES. This little hooligan has been kicking my ass for the last five months, and when I say KICKING MY ASS I MEAN IT! Little Savannah Jane will be making her grand entrance April 2019, and I’m hoping she’s here before Game of Thrones premieres! I have to be honest I wasn’t always this excited about being pregnant. Physically it’s been tough and it’s, also taken a toll on me mentally and emotionally. I felt like I lost a bit of myself after I got the news even though I was excited, the timing just was off. Most of you can relate, timing is everything, one day you have a plan for your life and then the next thing you know, your birth control takes a day off, haha.
I was fine at first, and then I fell into intense depression, my therapist was on speed dial, my GYN was continually checking on me, I wanted to die honestly. I can’t even explain the despair, I was just always sick and being out of work affected my finances so that just made it even worse. I was all over the place to the point I couldn’t sleep and contemplated taking an entire bottle of sleeping pills to never wake up again. It was hard, but now I’m in a much better place! Not as sick, not really depressed, and just eager to lay eyes on this little karate kid who I am convinced is doing backflips in my belly. I’m grateful for BetterHelp being there when I needed a therapist who was there all the time. What made it better was that she was pregnant with her second baby and had the same issues in her first trimester. For once I didn’t feel as alone as I was telling myself I was.
I also was reminded how blessed I am to have an amazing partner, friends, and family who have seen some pretty intense anxiety attacks and kept me level-headed. I’ll be doing some baby updates throughout the months but this won’t shift into a Mommy Blog, I promise!
One of my best friends in the whole wide world got married in September! I was the best maid of honor I could be even though I was dehydrated and passed out the during the ceremony….
I wish I were kidding, but they were literally wheeling me out on a stretcher during the vow exchange. I never apologized for anything more in my life! Everything was still perfect, and they keep telling me that they wouldn’t change a thing, but I would have loved not to faint. Luckily for me, the pastor was a first responder, and the groom’s mom was a nurse, so they kept me slightly conscious while the wedding continued. I was so annoyed with everyone I kept saying, “Stop just marry my friends! I’m okay! I’m really sorry; I love you” What a day! I got “Best Dressed Patient” in the ER, so that counts for something. I have some pre-emergency room pictures I’m able to share with you all!
Congrats Justin and Anika! Love you both!
October & November
October was a dull month, I was planning on getting back into the blog, but I was just getting back to work and classes and was quickly reminded how exhausting that is. I’ll be getting more in-depth with my career a professional student and how that’s been affecting my mental health. I’ll be taking yet another break from school since this semester is now over, but that’s a whole other post! Coming soon enough!
November was cute, and I started to feel more like myself again, below are some pics from Friendsgiving which is one of my favorite things! Food, friends, and more food! We also decided on a baby name that night, so it’s indeed one to remember!
It’s safe to say I’m back! I have some ideas for the blog and plans for the site that I’m excited about! It just took some time to get my shit together so thank you all for not beating down on me about my absence because trust me; I’ve been super hard on myself lol! See you next week with some random stuff about Christmas!